{"id":985,"date":"2019-11-15T02:39:21","date_gmt":"2019-11-15T08:39:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lindagorchels.com\/blogs\/?p=985"},"modified":"2019-11-13T20:46:47","modified_gmt":"2019-11-14T02:46:47","slug":"more-ways-to-damage-well-being","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lindagorchels.com\/blogs\/more-ways-to-damage-well-being\/","title":{"rendered":"More Ways to Damage Well-Being"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Last month I discussed 10 Bad Habits that Harm Well-Being<\/a>. Here is another batch of bad habits. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m going to start with a memory I have from my mom\u2019s house. She had a plaque in her bedroom which read: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Worry, regret, self-pity<\/p>

These are the agents of death.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

These three agents of death are unlikely to kill well-being\nimmediately. But over time they can weaken and damage it if they become habitual.\nThey\u2019re worth thinking about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Excessive Worry<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We all worry. Is that mole changing? Will the check arrive\nsoon enough to pay the bills? Are my children progressing normally?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some worry\ncan actually be a good thing<\/a>. It\u2019s an evolutionary byproduct of maintaining\nawareness of potentially dangerous situations. And it can sometimes motivate\nyou to make better decisions. Worry, after all, is thinking about the future.\nThis thinking may result in better preparation and planning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But do you worry about how much time you spend worrying? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Excessive worrying is a type of anxiety. Fretting over\neveryday issues, or spending too much of your day consumed by \u201cwhat if\u201d\nquestions, can have negative mental and physical effects. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s time to break the cycle of worrying. Make a list of\nyour concerns, think about them only during a restricted \u201cworry hour,\u201d or\ndistract yourself with positive actions.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

For more ideas, check out WebMd\u2019s 9\nSteps to End Chronic Worrying<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unnecessary Regret<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ah, now let\u2019s shift from the future to the past. Whereas\nworry is about what might happen in the future, regret is about what actually happened\nin the past. And many of the same comments apply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, the good stuff. Regretting something you\u2019ve done in\nthe past can help you learn from your mistakes. And if you can learn from your\nmistakes you can improve your future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, repetitive dwelling on self-blame for bad\noutcomes can damage well-being. It can cause you to pull back from a full life,\nand can impede coping with stressful situations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you find yourself stuck in self-recrimination, ask\nyourself a few questions. Are you personally accepting more blame than is\nappropriate? Can you reframe the situation as a reasonable mistake? Can you let\nit go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Regret is a part of life that should be harnessed for life\u2019s learnings. But it shouldn\u2019t be allowed to fester into a snake pit of poison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-pity<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes regret turns into self-pity. I\u2019m such a\nhorrible person, I\u2019m pathetic and weak, blah, blah, blah<\/em>. Self-pity is\ndisempowering. It\u2019s self-absorbed unhappiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s not the same as self-compassion<\/a>.\u00a0 Whereas self-pity devolves into \u201cisn\u2019t it awful?<\/em>\u201d thinking, self-compassion is about accepting your imperfections with kindness and humility. Self-compassion can be a motivator toward well-being. Self-pity is a detractor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”<\/em><\/p>C. S. Lewis<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

How can you eliminate self-pity? Compassionately redefine\nwho you are. Praise yourself for your strengths rather than beating yourself up\nfor your weaknesses. Embrace self-improvement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Beyond the three agents of death from my mom\u2019s plaque, I\nthought of a few additional negative habits to avoid on your journey to improve\nwell-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skimping on quality sleep<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The quality of your awake time depends on the quality of\nyour sleep time. During\nsleep<\/a>, cells regenerate and the brain forms new pathways to consolidate memories.\nRest is necessary to keep your immune system healthy. Lack of sleep can reduce\ndaytime performance and lead to what the National\nInstitute of Health<\/a> refers to as microsleep, \u201cbrief moments of sleep that\noccur when you’re normally awake.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While 7-9 hours of sleep per day is the broad average, how well\n<\/em><\/strong>you sleep is just as important as how much<\/em><\/strong>. If you toss\nand turn during the night, or wake up feeling tired, the quality of your sleep\nmay need to be improved. Avoid late-night snacks and imbibing. Clear your mind\nwith meditation at bedtime. Focus on things to be grateful for as you fall\nasleep.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hanging around negative people<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Who do you spend the most time with? Are more of them\npositive, exhibiting optimistic attitudes toward life? Or are they pessimistic,\nwalking around with perpetual clouds hanging over them? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I read a quote somewhere that negative people are like black\nholes\u2014they suck the energy and life out of everyone around them. These are the\npeople who make you feel drained, demeaned, and depressed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what can you do about it? Here are a few options<\/p>\n\n\n\n